Trust In Your Dreams
by This Rhythm
Summary: Selina likes where she's at right now, but life goes on and life is always recreated. Responsibility is a foreign concept to her and the unknown is scary. "Living in Scotland is a chance for them to start all over. Having this child would bring some unwanted memories back. Should they feed the child a lie or tell them the truth?"


**A/N: I can't hold myself back since I wrote this in a day and a half. :D I was totally against a pregnancy fic involving these two because usually it ends up being pretty cheesy. But I hope I delivered something real and fluffy at the same time. The title comes from Muse's latest single, "Madness." Sigh. Matt Bellamy melts my soul. **

**This is in _no way_ a sequel to "Kaleidoscope Hearts." I like the feeling of uncertainty in that story, but if you would like to pretend this is another addition to it, go right ahead. :)**

**EDIT: I added a bit more dialogue between Bruce and Selina because it was slightly empty. Many thanks to RandomificationChaotic for bringing it to my attention! **

**Pardon me for any grammatical mistakes. And as usual, reviews in any shape or form are very appreciated. **

* * *

They've survived for eight years. It still shocks her; she never thought they could do it. She thought they would get to the point where glasses and windows and every single piece of furniture they've accumulated over the years and their hearts would shatter, but it hasn't. Not yet. And Selina would be lying if she said it didn't make her feel warm and fuzzy.

It's taken them a while to get to this point, because Selina – and Bruce – are the type of people who keep things to themselves. It's how they managed to live. Opening up left plenty of chances for an intruder to fuck with it and leave you twisted and ruined. Bruce had firsthand experience with it multiple times, and it was always under the public eye. So did Selina, but she moved like a shadow much of her life, so not many people knew anything personal about her. But they're here and it doesn't feel bad or weird. Sometimes she feels like they have a competition over who had the shittiest life, but once examining the horrors they realize no one should have to go through anything like they did.

You know how people plan on going on a date? Your friends might set up a blind date, or you join eHarmony or something, and then everything goes fine and dandy, then you get engaged and soon married? People choose to follow a protocol. Her Econ teacher in high school once said our choices aren't chosen because we have to decide between right and wrong, it's because that's the only thing we know. So we decide between one of the two choices.

Selina and Bruce, however, didn't make a choice. They just sort of . . . fell into place. They started hanging, traveling, talking and other times not talking, fighting, making up, staying, buying things and being comfortable with one another. It happened. Seeing Bruce and escaping wasn't premeditated. It was unintentional and she liked it. Loved it. Because being with Bruce and not worrying about consequences made life a wee bit better.

She hopes there won't be any consequences for a _long_ time.

~/~

She waits until he leaves for the pub. They own a bar, appropriately named Alfred's, in a tiny area in Scotland, and when they opened it was the single greatest thing in the world. The village finally had a place to conglomerate and drink till they were absolutely wasted. It's nice seeing all the cheery people come out and play. Selina likes listening to their stories, their laughter and when she goes home it makes her a little sad. But there is always tomorrow, and for that she's happy.

Usually Selina joins Bruce and helps him out, but today she told him she wasn't feeling good. Being the overly bearing person he is, Bruce offered to stay and let their manager, Richard, watch the pub tonight. It took a lot of persuasion to get him to leave. Yes, Selina could've said she was going into town to get some supplies, but being the idiot she was she got everything two days before. Besides, she needed some peace and quiet. And some damn privacy.

Since there aren't many people in the surrounding area, gossip travels like the fucking speed of light. She wishes their internet worked as fast as people's mouths; that's how quick stuff got around. Because of this petty village-mentality, she has her sunglasses on tight, a hoodie wrapped around her, and no fancy heels. Selina doesn't own any more wigs and such, so this is the only way she can conceal herself at the supply store. She certainly doesn't need anyone being meddlesome right now.

It takes her about forty-five minutes, and when she gets there it's drizzling slightly. The store is small and quaint, with Norman being the cashier, pharmacist and just about everything in between. He's quiet and old; Selina's found that she likes speaking with him. Norman's her version of Bruce's butler/surrogate father, Alfred.

Norman's not behind his desk, and usually Selina goes in the back to chat with him. This time, though, she needs her peace and steal just one item.

See, if there wasn't a need to conceal everything from everyone because everyone was so damn nosy, Selina would have bought the pregnancy test. But since that's not the case, she has to resort to . . . impractical means. There aren't any security cameras and there are hardly any crimes committed in this twenty mile radius, but Selina thinks _Well, here we go_ and for some reason it makes her feel like she's twenty-eight again. She picks the best one they have, rearranges the shelf so it looks like an item isn't missing, shoves it inside her hoodie, and walks out in less than a minute.

She feels bad for stealing, especially since it's from Norman but it was necessary. Quickly, she heads on over to the Katie's, a diner with some pretty banging pancakes. Selina heads straight to the bathroom, ignores the happy hellos, and promptly takes out the pregnancy test. All of a sudden she's feeling extremely nervous and agitated. The test is heavy against her hand, but she impatiently rips open the box and takes it out. Selina grabs a few paper towels and goes into the stall, putting the towels on the seat because she has a thing for public restrooms.

Selina hasn't had her period in three weeks. She didn't notice it at first, but a week ago she realized she was late. Sometimes this happened, like when there was a very stressful situation involving angry rich men and an object. But there haven't been any angry rich men and objects, so she really must be pregnant. She threw up yesterday morning and felt completely nauseous when Bruce made eggs today.

She kind of wants to skip the test and see if her stomach gets bigger. She can't handle this right now. All this time she's been content with living in a small village, waking up next to Bruce, and not having to deal with all of her past demons. But this is just another . . . nuisance. Yes. Another annoying thing she has to deal with, along with annoying people and annoying rain.

So annoying.

~/~

She could get rid of it. It would be easy. Scotland allows abortions and all she has to do is go in, get it out, and come back home. Everything would be fine and dandy.

Bruce has never pushed her for anything and she appreciates him for that. He's hasn't said anything about starting a family, but she can't say she's never thought about having one. She's seen a boy and girl, sometimes two girls and thinks _Yeah, I can do this_. But that's when the daydream stops. Reality is so much harder than dreams. Having to clean up after poop, and trying to make sure the kid – it – doesn't become a failure is too taxing.

It's one thing to be together for so long but it's something else entirely when you bring someone – something – into the mix. She and Bruce are a solid couple even if they're not married. But this stupid thing just had to creep on her. Selina's pretty pissed that she didn't take good care of her bloody uterus. It's just so unlike her to be careless. She's always been the type of person who cleans up after everything, and to have this happen to her is strange. Now she doesn't feel in control of her life, and it scares the crap out of her. If she can't control her life, how will she control it's?

~/~

"Selina, you need to see a doctor."

Her vomit is yellow and has chunks of her granola bar in it. It's pretty gross. And she liked the granola bar. She just couldn't keep it in.

Sighing, Selina flushes the toilet and leans against the wall, exhausted. "I'm fine, really. There's no need to quarantine me."

He's annoyed with her. Selina doesn't blame him. She suspects that he knows, but occasionally Bruce is so naïve Selina _has_ to take advantage of it. But it's been almost two months and the pregnancy test was very clearly not lying. Occasionally she checks to see if her stomach has gotten any bigger, but as far as she can tell it's pretty flat. Selina made an appointment at the abortion clinic a week ago, but she cancelled it because it seemed wrong not to tell Bruce. Time is ticking . . . She just hasn't gotten around to telling him the truth.

She can hear his footsteps and he sits next to her, his long legs overlapping hers, his feet planted against the sink's cabinets. She opens her eyes and Bruce gives her a long, stern look, grasping her hand. "I don't think you realize how much it's worrying me."

Alright, now she feels extremely guilty. It's at the tip of her tongue. Right there. But it –God, it's so hard. Selina's never had any type of responsibility. Bruce is a grown man who takes care of himself. This doesn't mean Selina doesn't cook and clean and help iron his clothes, but they're very independent. Their business is running great, largely due to Bruce's financial mind, Selina's crafty drinks and yummy snacks. It's just something cool they do, you know? Run a business together, have a nice cottege-ish house to go back to and have wonderful scenery as their backyard. It seems like the type of fairytale people in their fifties wish their retirement will be.

Having a kid will probably ruin this dream. She doesn't want it. Or maybe she does. Her mind is running wild, and abruptly her stomach lurches. She pukes again, and feels Bruce gently run his hands on her back and brush her hair out of her face. There aren't any chunks of food in her throw up, so that should mean she's almost done with her morning sickness. Bruce rips the towel from its hanger and runs some cold water through it, using it to wipe her face and forehead.

It hits her right then. The way he presses the wet towel softly on her face while his other hand is still rubbing her back. The way he's taking care of her . . . It's a combined effort. Suddenly, it all clicks. She doesn't have to be alone in this. It'll be hard because Selina knows what it's like to be a royal screw up. She doesn't want that to happen again to him/her. But Bruce is her anchor and in the end it'll be okay. She hopes.

With a jolt, Selina realizes she actually cares for this fetus, this thing, this _baby_.

~/~

It's the next day, it's dark and after dinner is when Selina tells him. Her palms her sweaty and obviously Bruce can feel it because he's grabbing onto her hand. The blood rushes to her head and her heart pumps at a furious rate. She can't look at him. She kind of wants to cry because she can't believe it took her this long to tell him.

Selina finally has the balls to look at him. He's older. There are permanent wrinkles etched on his face, but the skin is as smooth as ever. Some grey hairs are sprouting out, but she kind of likes it. Bruce is her version of George Clooney. For the first time in a long time, however, he doesn't look old. In fact, there's a large smile on his lips and his eyes are twinkling. Yes, twinkling.

Then it's gone because when he notices how quiet she is, his eyes are no longer sparkling and his grin drops. He watches her carefully and squeezes her hand. Her vision is blurry but she can see his face form a stoic, careful expression. "Why is this a bad thing?"

It all spills out in such a rush and she doesn't know what the hell she's saying. "Because! It just is, okay? I don't want to clean after diapers and deal with my breasts sagging. I want to go to sleep after screwing you and wake up at ten and not remember any of my dreams. There is too much responsibility. I can't," she says angrily, even though everything she just said is nowhere _near_ the truth.

The world stops spinning and everything freezes. Bruce gazes at her, he almost sort of gives up, and she can see the words coming out_. I understand_. But she doesn't want him to understand. That fact that he's giving up is like . . . Ugh, she doesn't know what to think. A couple of days ago she realized she wants this kid, and now Bruce is throwing it all away. If he's going to be like this, why did Selina decide to keep the baby? Why is she second guessing? All of these emotions are rushing forth, and Jesus, she needs to get it out.

"Y-you know, would we ever tell them about our past? How would they would react if I told them I killed people? I know I won't be a good mother. I stole a pack of gum two weeks ago –"

"I took some pieces out of it, if you don't mind. I hadn't had some in a long time."

She wants to laugh but instead a few tears fall down. "What if they ask about my childhood? Do I tell them it was awesome or say I landed in a juvenile center at sixteen and broke out of there in a week? How will I bond with them? Do I teach them how to pick a lock instead of how to bake fucking cookies?" Her voice hitches and she's kind of hyperventilating.

"I don't want to lie, but I don't want our past to come out in the open either, Bruce," she cries out. Selina's flat out sobbing and now she knows why she was confused about the baby. She and Bruce had such a crappy life. Living in Scotland is a chance for them to start all over. Having this child would bring some unwanted memories back. Should they feed the child a lie or tell them the truth? She's been so adamant about treating the baby like crap, calling them "it" but this was a weird mechanism for her to deal with the situation.

Bruce scoots out of his chair and kneels down in front of her, his face pleading. "Oh, Selina." He's basically resting his entire upper body on her lap and his hands come up to her face, wiping the tears away. "This is our chance to do something right. We never got an opportunity to have a normal life, but we can relive our dreams with this baby. We can give her or him a happy childhood. There's no need to lie about our past because their future will be brighter than what we had to go through. It'll overshadow the bad. We can do this, Selina. We can and we will," he says vehemently.

And she believes him.

~/~

Her stomach is round and huge. Selina's always been proud of her lean physique, but this is simply unspeakable. She's done an alright job of taking care of her body during the pregnancy, eating as many healthy foods she can and doing a few slight workouts here and there. Other times she feels so unproductive and bloated, and then her hormones go out of control and she starts to get_ really_ emotional.

It's almost time for the baby to come; she's got about three weeks left and Selina can't help but feel extremely nervous. What if there's a complication? What if she's in labor for ten days (is that even possible)? Her mind is spinning literally every second of every day; perhaps she has some secret OCD where she wants – needs – everything to be perfect. She's most likely freaking Bruce out because of weird requests she has and her constant worrying. She's certainly freaking herself out.

Currently, Selina's bumming around and watching a sad, depressing movie about another earth floating around and second chances. The lights are off and a large bowl of popcorn is sitting on her lap. Bruce comes by and asks, "What are you watching? Do I need to bring out a box of tissues?"

She grabs the pillow next to her and roughly throws it at Bruce. He laughs and she replies, "I can assure after this movie_ you_ will be needing gauze and tape for suggesting I'm overly emotional." She smiles to herself because, well, she is overly emotional right now.

"Considering you can barely get up without me helping you – "

"My back hurts!"

He sits down and steals the popcorn bowl from her, grinning. "I'm just saying," he says as his eyes sweep over her stomach, "You have no room to make any threats." Selina rolls her eyes because this fight is futile. She kind of hates how he has the upper hand.

They continue watching the movie, and unfortunately a couple of tears leak out. Bruce glances over and smiles but Selina, in a very immature manner, sticks her tongue out. "Give me the popcorn."

Bruce shoves some in his mouth and moves the bowl farther away from her. "If you want it, come and get it."

Her eyes narrow. "I don't think you want me to."

"Actually, I do," Bruce says as he gets up from the couch and lands on the loveseat, all the while taking the popcorn with him. He smirks.

He could be such an ass sometimes. Selina attempts to get up from the sofa a couple of times, but she promptly falls back down. At this point Bruce can't contain his laughter, and even after throwing the remaining pillows _and_ the sofa cushions he's still cracking up.

~/~

Some days she wants her mother even though she doesn't remember what she looked like. Other times the neighbors – mostly grandmas and moms – come over to her house and basically cook and clean for Selina. When the entire village visits and helps her out, she realizes she doesn't need _a_ mother. She has plenty and for that she's grateful.

Everyone dotes on Little Isla. During the day Selina goes out to Alfred's, and while Selina is preparing with Bruce people come by and babysit. They love carrying her around and feeding her. Isla has several cousins, aunts and uncles, and an adequate amount of grandparents. She's always smiling because there's so much happiness surrounding her.

When Isla was born, Selina found herself staying awake just to make sure the sleeping beauty was perfectly fine. She can't believe she contemplated not having Isla. It was Selina's childish, stupid, immature self which made her say and do rash things. But her child is so beautiful. Nothing in the world could tear her away from Isla.

Bruce is probably the happiest she's ever seen him be. He's so careful with her, such as when he lifts Isla up he does it slowly and gently. On several occasions, Selina's seen him carry her around as he's picking things up or simply walking outside. He likes putting Isla's shoes on. She doesn't blame him; after all, Selina _does_ have a good fashion sense.

Having Isla has made their relationship even stronger, Selina's found. They weren't on shaky grounds to begin with, but Isla is a permanent bond for them. No matter what happens, she'll carry their genes and their legacy. Selina and Bruce are no longer a separate entity. They're one and whole.

For eight years they had their fun. But it's not over, because playing games with Isla, setting up pots so she can bang on them all she wants, and watching her attempt to climb the sofa is a new type of fun. Every time Selina watches her doll her heart swells. Selina can erase her dirty past and create a new set of memories for Isla, Bruce and herself. She needs their love, and they need hers. It's not a burden, taking care of not one but two people. It's meant to be. Because if it wasn't, then it wouldn't be so damn perfect. She loves life, she loves them, and she's so fucking happy. Selina dreamt about a family; she's got it and it's not going away.

Not today, not tomorrow, _never_.


End file.
